it is my greatest wish to time travel to the future and watch historically inaccurate period dramas about the early 2000s
i hope harry’s hair becomes long enough for him to wrap it around my neck twice and strangle me to death
i am a thirsty hoe and I wouldn’t want it any other way
if you’re a thirsty hoe, just try some h2o
if i was a ghost id help little kids with math and throw vases at mean people
when ur headphone is slowly slipping out of your ea r and you just think no„ my love…, r eturn
Sometime around 2am, my cat Scrambles hit the space bar on my keyboard and iTunes started playing. I’d been practicing one of my acts before bed, so I had a playlist of just that song, entitled Spider Pussy. It played 85 times in a row, at full volume, with the windows open. The only lyrics in Spider Pussy are the words “spider pussy” over and over. Those words were probably sung 4500 times last night. There is no hope for any good relationship with my neighbors.
I’m so sorry this happened but there are actual tears streaming down my face from laughing so hard. SPIDERPUSSY.